Monday, August 17, 2009

Actual label instructions?

Label Instructions:



In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:



1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.



2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.



3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.



4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.



5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.



6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)



7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET



8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.



9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?



10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.



11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)



12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)

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