FREE antivirus and antispyware that WORKS?

My computer is infect to all hell. Infected like Ashton Kutcher's 30th birthday party! Okay, that lame joke aside, I am not only looking to prevent spyware and viruses...I'm looking to remove a plethora of infections I already have. I have Spybot Search %26 Destroy, Hitman Pro (it was working fine until Spy Doctor asked for payment...), AOL, and probably some other protection that is absolutely not working (or in most cases, requires payments that I cannot make as I am a minor without a job).

Is there anything that you have personally tried and can honestly say is completely free and removed all viruses and spyware from your computer? I've already gotten the Blue Screen of Death more than once (and had to set my computer back to an earlier date!) and I'm not anticipating another case.

Believe me, once I get the chance, I'm getting an iMac. :

FREE antivirus and antispyware that WORKS?adware remover

|The only decent FREE antivirus and antispyware are AVG.

http://free.grisoft.com/doc/2/ for the antivirus, and

http://free.grisoft.com/doc/download-fre... for the antispyware.

Remember, TURN OFF SYSTEM RESTORE before doing the scans, and turn it back on after the scans have completed. (Viruses can re-launch from System Restore after removal.)

(Right Click)My Computer%26gt;Properties%26gt;System Restore.

Best to do the scans in SAFE MODE, after you have downloaded the apps and updated all definitions.