Funny instructions?

1. On a blanket from Taiwan -

NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

(ah well, ill just have to find a magic carpet instead)

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -

REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

( really? I thought I was imagining them to be there)

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -

USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

( I wouldn鈥檛 do that if I were you)

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -

AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

(why? Is everything going to spill out if I don鈥檛?)

5. On a New Zealand insect spray -

THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

( are you sure this stuff works?)

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -

TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.

(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -

OPEN OTHER END.

(really? I thought that the coke would come out of the bottom through an imaginary hole)

8.On a Sears hairdryer 鈥?DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

9.On a bag of Fritos -

YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.

(The shoplifter special!)

10. On a bar of Dial soap -

DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.